Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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