Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
