I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I just cut my nipple shaving
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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