big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Randomize
