She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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