How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
