It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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