We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
