I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize