East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Randomize