Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
