Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
