He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Houston, we have a squirter
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
