I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
