eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
