Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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