My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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