Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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