i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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