i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
