I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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