Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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