I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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