I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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