dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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