she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
