fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
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