addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
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