normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
