Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
