ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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