Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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