im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
