just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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