I'm drive I can fine osifer
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
