Betty ford says i'm here all night
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
