This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Do you have feelings for this penis?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
