Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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