I got chris browned last night
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
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