there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
