their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
