He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Randomize
