Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
