I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Of course I have a pirate flag
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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