So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
