Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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