tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
