are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize