But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
