Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Randomize
