He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
