dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize