I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
