she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
