Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
