Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
