You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
