You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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