Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
wow bdsm is so cute
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize