the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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