Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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