Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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