whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
